I love iiit! aaand now, I'm going to be obsessing about this for the next...thirty minutes! fav fav fav

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"I would date Gerard" - Frank Iero
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"I dont think having a My Chemical Romance action figure will make a kid start his own band, I like to think it will make him save children from a burning building" - Gerard Way
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Soldier in the MCRmy

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

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"The Christian faith is faith in Christ. It's value or worth is not in the one believing, but in the One believed, not in the one trusting, but the One trusted."
-Josh McDowell

yer welcome! ^^

--
"I would date Gerard" - Frank Iero
*
"I dont think having a My Chemical Romance action figure will make a kid start his own band, I like to think it will make him save children from a burning building" - Gerard Way
*
Soldier in the MCRmy

Hei LeeAnn, i'm back
okay well then..
The first stanza reminds me of the fall of man, surely cause of the forbidden fruit, but also the everyday struggle of staying on the right path - although i don't considder myself christian (because i don't beleave in god ) i can sorta relate moral-wise..
I can't tell for sure, but to me the 2. stanza is kinda from an neutral angle. You know, because it seems to have a logical approach to being a christian, at least in my eyes(correct me if i have interpretated it wrong), and it is my favorite stanza in the poem^^ Now the last stanza, i feel that it is more in the direction of your own personal opinion, and seems to be the most important in the poem. I realise that it must be god talking, but still..
I like it actually i am faving it It's very cute and reminds me of a childrens poem, but i'm guessing that it was the angle that you chose, right :b
well, great job LeeAnn, remember - never stop expressing yourself, cause you are damn good at it dear!

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I'm your new idol of the week. --> [link]

Awwww! I always love it when you comment. It's like a super ego boost with a reminder that I have to work hard!
Thank you for the thorough feedback (and the !)

You pretty much hit the whole thing right on the head...with a little difference. I'm pretty sure that's the gap between beliefs between us talking, though.
I was literally thinking 'the daily fall of Man' for the first stanza, and the entire thing came to me in the kind of voice that I imagine Satan had to use in the Garden of Eden.
I wasn't quite thinking 'neutral' for the second stanza. That's actually the World to me. It's anything but neutral, but it's all about the fit.
And the third was a personal revelation I had while writing version three. I'd been struggling with something for awhile and that whole concept suddenly came to me. I don't think it's me talking, but it is a personal discovery. It probably comes differently for each Christian.

And, again, you're pretty much absolutely right with the child angle. I wanted something simple that people could read over and go 'Huh. That's cute.'
But at the same time, I wanted a few key phrases that would stick out to every Christian that reads the next time they fall into temptation.

I think I'll be writing a new one tonight...or two. I'm two behind, anyway, and my brother is being an idiot again. -.-

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"The Christian faith is faith in Christ. It's value or worth is not in the one believing, but in the One believed, not in the one trusting, but the One trusted."
-Josh McDowell

arg damn, the world, right how could i not have seen that... Glad you liked the review^^
it's odd that even though it has been like 5-6 months without us writing together i still seem to read your stuff with the same intell as i use to -ish nice
ya? well i will probably have to have a look at it then

--
I'm your new idol of the week. --> [link]

Okay, so not last night. I still don't remember half of what happened before i went to sleep. XD

It is a little odd that it's almost like it's only been a few days. But I'm not complaining. I always liked your intell on my stuff, anyway.

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"The Christian faith is faith in Christ. It's value or worth is not in the one believing, but in the One believed, not in the one trusting, but the One trusted."
-Josh McDowell